It's Where I Am with Zandra Polard

Wesley Knight 0:00
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Dr. David Gennis 0:44
Good morning Las Vegas. I am Dr David jennis, clinical and public relations director from great mind counseling and Wellness Center, and you are listening to it's where I am on 91.5 FM, K, U, N, V for the month of August. I will be guest hosting on it's where I am on behalf of host Zandra Pollard, who will be out for the entire month of August. So it's my pleasure to come back and be with all of you listeners on today's show. I'm focusing on self care, and I wanted to really take this opportunity to examine, dissect, break down the definition of self care and discuss how to effectively implement it in our day to day life. This is a topic that I think is relevant for all of us, and I am really excited to have somebody on my show today, and that is Carlos Padilla, who is the activities director from my home clinic, great mind counseling and Wellness Center. Hi, hi, hi. How are you doing? Well, thank you so much for making time to come on the show. Of course, of course. Thank you for having me well. I'm delighted. I think we're going to have a good show here today. Yes, very, very, very excited. Well, I think this topic is just so essential for all of us in today's society. We're all pulled in so many different directions, and we have so many different responsibilities. We wear so many different hats, that's for sure, and just the level of stress that we start building up from the beginning of the week, and as we continue to move through the week, it gets heavier and heavier. So I'm hoping listeners that by the time Carlos and I at the end of the show today, that you'll have some strong ideas to feel better and feel lighter about how you go about your day to day business, and where you can feel rejuvenated and be excited again about your daily living. So you know, when I talk about self care, I think about that it's much more than getting your nails done or taking a hot bath.

Carlos Padilla 3:04
Oh, 100% it's a lot deeper than that, for sure.

Dr. David Gennis 3:07
So I think, you know, I've been practicing Carlos as a mental health therapist for 25 years, and I think at some point I've recognized that self care is a complex idea

Carlos Padilla 3:25
and task, definitely 100% there. I think there's a lot more that goes into it than you know, what meets the eye? Most people think like you said, it's a taking a bath or stretching or getting your nails done or going to get your hair done. But you know, if you actually, like we said, dissect the whole meaning of self care. There's, there's so much more to it.

Dr. David Gennis 3:46
So I want to acknowledge, you know, I like all those things that you just said, except for the haircut piece, because I don't have any hair listeners. It's been a long time. But, you know, I want to really highlight for listeners that the in between stuff from from all those activities that you just acknowledged, that there's other things that can complement scheduling maybe getting your nails done or scheduling a massage, it's all the little stuff that we do in between that really helps, I think, all of us to have a higher social and emotional well being 100% so let's take a look at the definition of self care. Self care is the practice of taking deliberate actions to preserve or improve your physical, mental and emotional well health. So right there already, I think we're bringing attention to the fact that self care contributes to one's mental and emotional health. And I'm not sure when we talk about self care and our everyday roles, that those are two areas that we. We relate back to self care.

Carlos Padilla 5:02
You know, I even think it could go even as far as your spiritual health, so whatever that means to you and as well as your physical health, as well, you know what you put in your body and how you use that?

Dr. David Gennis 5:14
Carlos, you're good, because we're as we continue to jump in and dive in on this topic of self care, there are some key aspects, and you mentioned a couple already, that will will break down even further and talk about so self care involves recognizing and responding to your own needs in a way that supports overall well being, balance and functioning. Wow, that's that's a lot to to hold in mind. Yeah. So I'm curious, though. So as our activities director at great mind counseling, how do you and our team implement and incorporate self care into the clinical therapeutic activities that we do with that patient.

Carlos Padilla 6:03
So at least for me, and how I, you know, try and run the team there in the back with our clients. You know, here it's even better. I'll give you an example for So, for example, I see Ryan constantly, all go, go, go, go, go, go, go, all the time. And sometimes I see people just kind of, you know, sitting there, which, you know, sometimes it happens, but sometimes I'm like Ryan, go, take it. Go, take 10 minutes. Go drink some water. Go, relax. Go, take a breather. Go, take a smoke, whatever it is that you want to do. Go, take 10 minutes to yourself, to pull yourself out of, you know, the whole situation out of everything to give yourself that moment to breathe and so you're not on that constant Go, go, go, go, go, and overwhelming yourself and to go home and do whatever else it needs, whether it's continue working or showering and going to the gym or grocery shopping, cooking, what, you know, whatever that could Be.

Dr. David Gennis 6:59
Yeah, no, I absolutely, really like what you just said and what you do as a supervisor of members of our team, that you're allowing the team member to have an opportunity to take a moment to breathe, to collect themselves, to quiet down their mind, and to emotionally regulate. And so emotional regulation is something that's really dear to my heart, because I think it's something that, as a society, we really don't talk so openly about, and it's not necessarily something that we have as a conversation at the dinner table with our families, unless you're in the business or, you know, if our parents or caregivers. You know, if that's something that is important to them, as far as the family culture, then maybe it's something that the younger generation may be exposed to and and and learn, but it's really not that common as as far as being a dinner table conversation.

Carlos Padilla 7:59
Oh, definitely not. You know, I know at least me growing up, my mom did her absolute best and tried to be as open about it as possible. But you know, you can even just see the difference between, you know, my generation that's having kids and growing, you know, growing their kids up, and the difference between where we were raised and how I'm noticing some of my generation is being raised, and, you know, that could go kind of either way. We could all kind of have opinions about that one. But overall, I am noticing that they are trying to make it more normalized to talk about, you know, well, why do you feel this way? What caused you to feel this way, and how can you help yourself maybe not feel this way or understand why you feel this way.

Dr. David Gennis 8:40
So I love I love that, and my poor kids. I have two boys, and I have often thought to myself, my poor kids because their dad is a therapist, and so we've talked a lot about feelings and learning how to carry ourselves as young men, as younger men, and to learn how to communicate effectively in our feelings. And that's a skill. It's a skill that needs to be practiced and cultivated and encouraged. And so part of my role all these years as a therapist, has really been trying to highlight and help individuals and families to create a vocabulary around their feelings so that they can think and feel and articulate safely and appropriately. What it is that they actually feeling so when they're frustrated, when they're overwhelmed, when they're angry about to lose it, that they can engage in those interactions and conversations in a more positive way that hopefully leads to a better outcome. Exactly. Yeah, so, all right, we're going back to this very complex, complicated definition of. Self care. And as Carlos identified previously, one of the components to self care is physical self care. So you want to talk about that a little

Carlos Padilla 10:10
bit. Yes, you know, I think the physical aspect is probably one of my favorite this could just be because the gym for me has been, as people like to say, a saving grace through being divorced, being so young, and, you know, just going through life in general, I've noticed that I tend to, I tend to gravitate towards the gym just as a healthier way, instead of, you know, picking up the bottle or picking up the pipe or whatever it could be, you know what I mean, going into that gym and being able to just shut it all out, even if it's for an hour or 45 minutes, or 15 minutes, you know, if it's a quick 10 minute jog and a stretch like that, gives you enough time to breathe, pull yourself out of the situation. So you're not, you know, overthinking it too much, because I know, for me, I'm an over thinker, a really, really bad over thinker. I would never think that about you, Carlos, really. That's kind of surprising. But yeah, no, I'm a very, very big over thinker. I will sit there and I'll dwell and Okay, well, I have to figure it out now. And you know, going to the gym has taught me. No, you can pull yourself out of this situation and then come back to it later. Talk

Dr. David Gennis 11:19
about that, though, because how do you get to that place that process? One

Carlos Padilla 11:24
thing that really helped me, for example, being in the gym, was throwing on a workout video. So I wasn't trying to figure out, Oh, what am I going to do next? And because I had that video on, it's almost like you turn on TV to distract yourself. It's similar, but it's teaching you also. It's teaching you you know what you need to do in the gym, and why it works, and how it works, and stuff like that, or and then going and using that and doing it for, you know, a couple weeks it, you know, it takes what? What do they say it takes a month to turn into a or two weeks to turn into a new habit. So, you know, after those two weeks to a month, it turns into that habit. And then it, you walk in, you're, okay, I'm gonna do this. And you become to be come to get excited about doing that thing. For example, going to the gym. You go in, and you're, oh, I can't wait to get on the treadmill. I can't wait to throw on my headphones or No, next thing you know, you're driving, going to the grocery store, and you hear a song, and you're like, wait, I want to listen to that into the gym later, and you get there, and you can throw on that song, and then it just starts, you know, boosts your mood. And then on top of all of it, working out, boosts your endorphins, endorphins and your dopamine, and it just increases all of it, and it just overall makes you happier. I guess you could say,

Dr. David Gennis 12:41
well, your enthusiasm is just infectious, and it makes me even think about wanting to go back to the gym, and that's a lot for me. So, you know, there's such a connection, though, between the mind, body and spirit. And you know, I really do believe in how the physical component influences our emotional and mental well being 100% and I like how you spoke about though, because you were connecting the mental piece to working out, which is really the physical piece. And I don't know if you were aware that you were doing that, but I wanted listeners to hear the benefit overall, in regards to what maybe 10 or 15 minutes can do for one's emotional and mental well being by just going into the gym. It doesn't have to be this really long, 60 minute work or No, not at all, not at all well. And I think that's a good clarification for a lot of listeners, because when you think about going to the gym, you know, you typically, we think about these big buff guys, meat heads and

Carlos Padilla 14:00
the steroids and all the the extra this and the that, and the super, super strict diets, which you can do, but that's not necessarily needed for, you know what? I think we're

Dr. David Gennis 14:10
talking so you mean there's like everyday people that go to the gym just like me? Yes, 100% I love it. 100% so, so did you hear that, listeners that the gym is really not as daunting in a scary environment as we may believe it is. It's an environment where people of all walks of life go to attempt to live a different lifestyle, or make some changes within their lifestyle so that they can feel healthier. And I think, physically, emotionally, mentally, when I say healthier, I think it extends to all those domains. So you know, my as a therapist, my aspect of self care that I find to be really interesting is the emotional component related to self care and. And this is managing our stress, expressing emotions in healthy ways, establishing boundaries and seeking support when needed. Are those, are those skills that you relate to and that you practice yourself

Carlos Padilla 15:19
as much as I can. Yes. I mean, obviously no one's perfect, right, but I do like to think, and I do definitely try my absolute hardest to incorporate those into my everyday life, into my job, into my home life, into my relationships with coworkers or my mom or my brothers and sisters, or my romantic relationship, or, you know, all of it. So definitely

Dr. David Gennis 15:41
well, and I know, you know, establishing boundaries and relationships is a whole other episode of it's where I am Yes, and it's something to acknowledge, though, when we talk about self care, because there are those individuals that have a lot of difficulties just saying no and that they overextend themselves, and they say yes to everything because they want to be there to support the people that are in their life. But I want to highlight it's okay sometimes to say no, because we're only as good as we are relaxed and rejuvenated and emotionally and mentally in a positive space to help others, because if we can't get there, then we we're going to be doing we're not going to be able to really meet the needs in a manner in which we'd like to for those that we want to help or make a significant difference in others lives. So it really is true what they say that that old, you know, we have to, as a as a care provider, we have to be really in a high, functional, positive, emotional space so that we can be more effective at doing our jobs. Oh, 100%

Carlos Padilla 16:53
and you know, I definitely have noticed, you know, if I go into work and kind of a sour mood or a sour have a sour attitude, my clients feed off of that. They see it, probably even more than my coworkers. Do you know what I mean? And they see it. They recognize it. I remember one day specifically. I just was not having a good day. I walked into the more just overall, was not a good day. And one of our clients, Connie, she came up to me and she was like, are you okay? And we know how Connie is, so I was like that in that moment, I was like, You really, they can tell. They can tell. And, you know, I've also been a caregiver for a long, long time as well. And even going in there, they notice the difference when you go into just by the way you you handle them, by the way you help them stand up, by the way you're helping change them like they can, they can really, they tell they feed off of that. And I've noticed that when you aren't having a good day, and you're letting them see that, and they feed off of that. They tend to have not have a good day, which then makes your day even worse, when really was never them having the bad day to begin with. It was you. Oh,

Dr. David Gennis 18:10
that's such a great example, Carlos. It makes me think of in therapy, there is this concept called the parallel process. And really, what it boils down to is holding ourselves accountable to act the same way with our team members, in which how we would interact with our patients, and so giving that same level of respect and admiration and care to our team members, then how we work and interface and interact with with our patients. So I think it's so essential that when we are having a challenging moment, or if we're struggling and having a tough day emotionally, that we are mindful of how we're presenting to others, because you just described, I think, really, really well, how if coming in with something on our shoulder, maybe we're just having a tough morning, and if we're bringing that energy through the door with us, though, that It really does have that snowball impact, and can potentially impact others in a negative

Carlos Padilla 19:24
way. Yeah, and I think it's definitely more than just your face. You can fake a smile, you can act like you're okay, but they can. They it's more of your energy. They really see your energy. You know what I

Dr. David Gennis 19:35
mean? So, you know, it's funny Carlos, because I studied acting many, many years ago, I just can't fake a smile. I can't do it. And you know, my affect people. People know how exactly it is and how I'm feeling all times of the day and and so it's more important than for me to just be mindful of how I'm presenting myself, and if I am struggling a little bit. Because maybe I'm just feeling fatigued, because maybe the day was a little heavy with the needs of the individuals that we care for. Maybe I didn't get a good night's rest the night before, and I already, you know, I'm starting my day off feeling tired. You know, I could go on and on, you know, maybe I'm already thinking about, you know, the things that I have to do outside of work, when, when our work day ends, and all of that just contributes to our mood and how we may present. So I think what we're talking about is so relevant, though, to families and just how we live and interact with each other on a day to day basis. So I hope listeners are listening and thinking about what are some interventions that you all can do at home, for yourself and with your loved ones to maybe change the trajectory of how the day may go because of the differing moods that may be involved in your home. And think about Easy, easy tasks that one may do to flip the switch, if you will. And I know it's not that easy. Sometimes it's a little bit more challenging and difficult than just thinking about, you know, wanting to be more positive. Although I do love positive psychology, and there is a lot of research around when you think positively, you're more likely to feel positive and and to be more optimistic about life and be more hopeful versus being pessimistic and negative. But it can be challenging for people to get there, though, definitely, definitely, definitely, and especially, you know, for individuals, and I love these individuals that are, you know, doodling on the side pessimism. You know, there's, there's a space for everybody, and that, though it's a little bit more challenging for those that kind of think that way, to get to a place to think positively and to give people the benefit of the doubt, and sometimes that even rolls into how one trusts others, and it becomes this complex, you know, multi dimensional system that one has to try to figure out and maneuver through. So I find that this isn't that easy, and so that's why I really wanted to bring it on today and have us kind of dissect this concept of self care to really help others maybe have a broader context in terms of how to think about it, and then hopefully how to implement some strategies at home in their Everyday Lives, yeah, because

Carlos Padilla 23:01
I definitely think it's a misconstrued topic, you know, they, like you said, it's more than getting your nails done or taking that, that little bath or, you know, whatever it is, when you can actually understand the the core of self care. I really think it really just, it changes completely.

Dr. David Gennis 23:22
It does. It does. And you know, you feel something differently inside. I believe so that you know another aspect of self care is mental, the mental component to self care, and it's described as stimulating the mind through learning, rest mindfulness or engaging in hobbies that bring fulfillment, any thoughts regarding

Carlos Padilla 23:48
that? Yes. So one that I really, really liked was choosing a hobby that you know makes you feel good, makes you feel happy. Growing up, my entire life, I've always been in sports. I've done acting, I've done football, I've done dancing, I've done singing, choirs, almost everything I've done, I've done a lot, and when you really find that thing that you love, it again is a chance for you to be able to just focus on that and not have to worry about everything else. And it gives you that break to be able to come back to it. You know, I keep saying, come back, but really, sometimes you just need that break in order to pull yourself away, distract yourself for a minute, and then come back to it, and then you can really understand what it is and fix the problem, whatever problem it

Dr. David Gennis 24:40
is. So I'm going to use myself as an example, because I had a thought, you triggered a thought. Carlos, so I was a gymnast for a good portion of my life, and I've done adult recreational gymnastics, and both my boys were gymnasts, and my youngest one got to a high level. I. We'll see you back flip. And I was a gym dad for many, many years, you know, so gymnastics, flipping through the air was something that brought me a lot of joy in my life, and it has forever. So I'm injured now, tomorrow, I'm having surgery, listeners, I'm getting my elbow fixed tomorrow, and I can't tumble anymore. I can't at the moment, you know, my arms are not at the same length, and so it would be dangerous for me to tumble and and to potentially flip. So I'm thinking about transitioning to do some trampoline work once I get my arm fixed. But it's certainly been a loss in in my life and and not having access to this very specific self care that rejuvenates me, that makes me feel good about myself, it just makes me love life. It's no longer in my life. I don't have access to it anymore. So for individuals that may experience similar stories, such as my own. What would you recommend to those of us?

Carlos Padilla 26:07
You know, I was actually going to ask, What have you found a new hobby that does, maybe doesn't fulfill it as much as gymnastics does, but something that still brings you that joy and still makes you feel happy?

Dr. David Gennis 26:21
You know, I haven't really found a hobby outside of work, but what I will say, though, I'm very blessed though, for all the patients that I have the opportunity to provide support to, and it's very humbling for me, just the level of gratitude that my patients Express towards me. You know, even after all these years, even after 25 years of working in the field and helping families, it just moves me to a place where I am just so humbled and I have such gratitude for the kindness and the acceptance and being welcomed by those that I have the privilege of helping so that has really been able to help to a certain degree right kind of fulfill it a little bit, just a little bit, regulate me, help me to keep my regulation. But I haven't. I haven't found a new hobby yet, and I know that's a great recommendation. I know that's something I need to do. It just hasn't been easy. No,

Carlos Padilla 27:22
it's definitely not, especially when you have something that you love. So so so much. So for me, I started dancing when I was in high school. I only did it for three of my four years, but absolutely fell in love with it. Did, absolutely fell in love with it, and then graduated high school, didn't coach for a while, started coaching, fell in love with that, then had to move and so I really have used cooking. That's been my other thing. I absolutely love cooking in the kitchen all the time. It's kind of annoying how much I'm in the kitchen.

Dr. David Gennis 27:59
Yeah, cooking for me is definitely not a form of self care. I can say that it actually causes some stress for me. I was gonna say, yeah, that's an area and part of the house that I stay away from so really quickly, because the show is is winding down. You mentioned earlier, spiritual self care. Do you have something that you'd like to share with our listeners before we end the show today?

Carlos Padilla 28:28
I know this sounds really basic, but journal, or even if it's a video journal, write it down an audio recording to talk yourself through something and then come back to it later and listen to it, and then you can sit there and dissect, oh, this is how I felt. Or even a video, you can see your mannerisms. You can see the look on your face. You can see you know what you were doing, your hand placements, and really try and understand and figure out why you were doing those.

Dr. David Gennis 28:55
Well, I love, I love these really specific areas, these domains that we've been able to highlight this morning on it's where I am. I want to thank you, Carlos Padilla, activities director from great mind counseling and Wellness Center, for being on the show this morning. And for those of you, this is it's where I am, and I'm Dr David jennis, clinical public relations director at great mind counseling, looking forward to talking to you again next week, until then, bye, bye. You.

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