It's Where I Am with Zandra Polard

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Zandra Polard 0:44
Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. It's Zondra Oh, lord. It's where I am. Hey, y'all, I'm back from a long sabbatical. I'm finally back. And I want to thank my guest co host, Dr. G, for filling in for me during this long, wait until I got back. I really really needed it, y'all. I've been on the air for four years. And I just needed a little time for myself. And so I thank you for continuing to listen and being here today. Today, I have a very special friend and guest since I've been in Las Vegas, man. I got Alex Byrne now in the house. Also his co worker, Miss Sharon Steele. So welcome to the show. Thank you for inviting us. Absolutely. And so you know, the show focuses on mental health and wellness. And I invited you because of the work that you do. So let's talk about it. You are Alex, the Clark County Parks and Recreation Community Outreach Coordinator. Now when we met years ago, you were working with this team at that time. And then a few years later, you moved over to a Parkdale recreational center, right for seniors. And now you're back with GI T gang intervention team, right? Yeah,

Unknown Speaker 2:33
kinda. Yeah, yeah. Oh, that was all good until you got to the end. And that's my mistake. So yeah, T is actually used to be called gang intervention team, that's when you met me it was getting an event. Oh, okay. But what we've decided to do as a department is that we're gang tends to be very, it scares people, it can be very, it can be very intimidating. Well, we want to do is change that, that G from gang and call it gap. As a gap intervention team, we want to be able to fill in the gaps of those kids that are missing things. It is not every kid is going to be in a gang. sure every kid is going to have, every kid has a different need. So whatever it is, in this department, this program is called New Directions. Gi T. Okay, so that gi T is a further way that at risk population, so we can just fill in the gaps. Again, every kid is in the gang member, but every kid has a different need that we just want to fill in those gaps where you are 100% Correct. Okay. Oh, 90%, you just expand, it just expanded, we just changed the where we wanted to keep that gi t because it is a brand it is something that's been around for almost 20 years. Yeah, we didn't want to let go of that by just we just wanted to change that word. And we still do it a little bit. We still do the same type of programming. Okay, we kicked it up a notch. But we want to just make sure that we fill in those gaps for those kids in that community.

Zandra Polard 3:49
And Sharon, your colleague, now you are the what do you do for gi tea?

Unknown Speaker 3:55
I'm the supervisor of the program, so I oversee it. Okay. And then Alex oversees us to make sure we're going in the right direction.

Zandra Polard 4:04
Gotcha. So, we talked about those gaps. So that could be someone dealing with someone because it's also preventative right? So we could be dealing with parents who need help with their child who is becoming a member of a gang or do you also deal with education? Like any type of tutoring like explain to me break down those gaps for that at risk youth?

Unknown Speaker 4:34
If you don't mind? I'd like to have Sharon speak more on that only because I've been out of the I've been out of that game for a while. I just got in I just

Zandra Polard 4:40
know you Alex like I know you saw I'm like yes. You know, I

Unknown Speaker 4:44
appreciate that. I appreciate that. But I would love to pass that on over to share. Absolutely.

Zandra Polard 4:49
Please.

Unknown Speaker 4:50
Group pretty much say the same as gang intervention we just added on. Most of our programs we do is we deal with teenagers 13 The same 17 Okay, and so what we do is we have a game class per se for court order kids or parents that feel their kids are going either already in the game or they're going into a gang. So. So basically, we have classes at three different sites that we at our community centers that we work with, and we work with those kids, in essence. And then we have mentoring programs in the sense of kids are allowed to come in, we do mentorship, and then we have a program called leaders of the future. And so kids come in during the summertime, and get education, they get community service, they do social outreach, and they gather with other community centers and work together with that. Oh, so

Zandra Polard 5:47
this is perfect timing, because summer has begun, correct? Yes. Okay. So has this summer program started already? Or is it about to start? Actually, our

Unknown Speaker 5:57
program is about to start next week, all of our programs, okay. And then next week is what date our programs start, most of our programs is going to start June the fourth. Okay, that's a Tuesday, we used to do most of our program Tuesday through Friday. Okay. And so one of our one of our programs that Alex Dolman used to do in the past with GI T was late night. And so we're doing that again for this summer, but it's called Summer Nights. And we reach out to other centers throughout the county kind of say, we got like six centers. And we do late night programming. And so what that basically means like from seven to 11, we have teams come into our facility, okay. And we do workshops, we allow them to play basketball, we bring in guest speakers, they're allowed to do dance fitness room, and this just for the teens for that summer for that perfect

Zandra Polard 6:50
timing, because I mean, it's hot out here, we're in the triple digits already. Correct?

Unknown Speaker 6:54
No, yeah, in most of the programs like that. They're all free for the teens. Awesome. Okay. So that's what we've been doing.

Zandra Polard 7:02
So what I'm thinking about the parents, because when children are leaning towards becoming a part of a different group, other than family, correct? There's got to be something missing at home. Why do they want to associate? Other than being the same age? Right? Having the same likes or interest? What's going on at home?

Unknown Speaker 7:31
Oh, I think we're just going to target this the address population, the higher Yes, you got majority of those kids might live in gang impacted communities. Okay. So what they become a product of their environment, are they you know, you think about, they don't maybe have a lot of positive role models. So, being in a gang, when, if you really think about it, it's a way of survival. And so they got to fit in. And so what they a lot of the kids would do in the beginning, it's, it's a hanging out with your friends, okay. And then what happens is, it goes from hanging out with your friends to, hey, let's go, let's go steal some gum at 711. To Let's go, you know, do some little vandalism. And then before you know it, it blows up, and hey, now we're going to do violence, we're going to do these things. And a lot of these kids don't know what they're signing up for in the beginning. Because they don't have maybe a some an adult, somebody, a coach, a father or mother, that's a positive, they can tell them hey, don't do that. You know, so what happens is they listen to the Oh, geez, the older kids and they'll listen, hey, do this, do that, and they just follow them. And, you know, it's it's kind of

Zandra Polard 8:37
some of these old G's. They're not like 17 some of the old G's like, grandpa, we're

Unknown Speaker 8:42
not Oh, geez, now those old G grandpa's are either in prison, or they they've just kind of gone on with their lives. Okay. The Oh, geez, that we're talking nowadays, are 18 to 21 year olds. Okay. And he's 12 year olds, his 10 year olds are listening to these kids. And, and so they look up to them. Because remember the Oh, geez, are gone. A lot of them either went got arrested during the racketeering charges back in the days, and they took away a lot of the Oh, geez, what happened when you took away all the big male figures? All the young kids were just scrambling? Well, we don't have no one to tell us what to do. We can just do whatever we want to do. So and I think that's why the programs that we do the new directions program, or the the GI T program is so important because of the prevention and intervention programming is it is because we just don't want to focus just to say, hey, we only working with the with the at risk youth, because we have to pay attention to the good kids too, right? Because if we don't pay attention to them, they're going to be going over here. Sure. And so that's why we do the activities, the summer nights program to keep them busy during the summer. If we understand during the summer, kids need something to do and then they always you hear that analogy, hey, it's gonna be a hot one this year. You know, when it gets hot violence occurs and we see in a lot of chargers now these young kids that are elementary school, middle school, that are using weapons, and and what I like about our Department of Parks and Recreation is there is no other department that's doing this. So they were ahead of the game. We've been doing this for so many years, and we recognize that it is a need in this community. Yeah.

Zandra Polard 10:20
Well, you know, when I met you, we were having a conversation, I asked you back then, why are most of these kids here? Because I volunteered some time there. Why are most of these kids here? And you told me a lot of them? Were weapons charges, having weapons at school or just being caught with them? Or can you tell me more about that? You know, I think because it's an I'm sorry to interrupt. It's an issue like my son school. I don't know how many years in a row. You know, there's always someone getting caught with a weapon at his school.

Unknown Speaker 10:54
You think it's a lot of kids? I think it's I think it's first of all, the guns are easy to to get off access to access those guns off the streets, to get them on the streets. I think the other part too, is a lot of these kids think that they don't have to fight no more. You know, when I was a kid, were kids. You had a problem with somebody you through your fisticuffs in his right now walk up, you took, you gotta win, or you gotta last but either way you lived another day near these kids don't see that they, they're so have no fears. So they'll just think it's cool to shoot somebody or to have a gun? Because

Zandra Polard 11:28
they did back in the day to now I don't know, I am from South Central LA. Yes. So I know a little bit about, you know, gang violence,

Unknown Speaker 11:38
South Central LA in Southern Nevada. Totally. Yes. Back then. You know, you know, so but I'm talking about for what I know, here. Absolutely. So I think that, yeah, I think it's just the kids just don't have the they don't they see the movies they see. And I can't blame it all on TV and radio and all that. But a lot of that is also parents need to be more involved and pay attention to their children, go into the rooms, go under their bed, check and be proactive instead of reactive. Because I think a lot of parents Oh, yeah. A lot of parents don't really parent sometimes until something happens. Yes. Where you know, if you go check on your friends, check your kids phones. You know, you'd be amazed that these kids what they put on those phones and those pictures and stuff. Parents don't be they don't need to be afraid to ask their kid. Let me see your phone. Right. Since you pay for it. You should ask for

Zandra Polard 12:26
this right. unlock this phone. Yeah, yes. Yeah, absolutely. And then, you know, before I had teenagers, you know, I grew up thinking like, you know, you know, I want to give the kids a sense of privacy. Now, I can't do that. That didn't work. Yeah. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 12:44
I think it I think every kid is different. Because you can maybe give privacy to one. But the other two, you can't. Right. I think it's a being a parent is like a crapshoot. You know, you just you hope for the best. You give them all the foundation that you can, you can have to give the child the perfect foundation. But once they walk out that door, the kids that are around them might not have no foundation, right? Correct. They're gonna open they're gonna manipulate, bully, you know, and that kid, that kid, your kid is gonna forget everything they've learned,

Zandra Polard 13:15
or they want to impress those kids. That is true. Yeah. They they're looking for some attention. Maybe they're not getting at home? I don't know, I am not by far. The perfect parent. You know, all my kids have different temperaments. You know, I feel like I treated them all the same, but each one of them are extremely different. So, Miss Sharon, we want you to chime in a little bit more. Okay. Okay, so you told us about the programs? Do we have programs for parents?

Unknown Speaker 13:50
At this time, we don't. But at the same time, all of our programs we provide the parents are more than welcome to join us X questions hang around in volunteer volunteer? Yeah, that's one of our one things we would like the parents to do is to volunteer so they can see what goes on and how we handle things. And when there's problems, you know, with in our program, so they're more than welcome to come. But we've been talking about how to incorporate parents more. Sometimes it's kind of sad, because parents just want to drop them off and go about their business, y'all. Yeah. And so that's the sad part. But maybe if we did a little bit of a better job and trying to include them and work a little bit harder, maybe we can get parents involved a little bit

Zandra Polard 14:36
more like that accountability, because, you know, I was talking to my daughter, she has my granddaughter, she has my granddaughter, and she's young and she was we were kind of laughing about when parents drop off their kids to school or to the daycare. You know, it's like, hurry up, you're getting in here. I'm leaving. You know, they drop off the kid and boom, they're gone. You know, but as a parent, I have to say to Sometimes we have our own appointments, we have things to do, sometimes we need that time to unwind correct or destress. But what I'm understanding from you is, please don't forget to jump back in and get involved. Right. And that's why you guys are here.

Unknown Speaker 15:20
I think one of the things that meow meow sharing that talked about this, that I would like to eventually looking in the future of putting together a conference for parents, yes. That how to communicate with your children how to recognize when their behaviors are starting to change. Yes, wait, how you can also recognize when you, you started a trigger on the child, and how it is sometimes when a kid acts up on you, it's not about you, it's about that kid's issues. So that is one of the things we want to talk about is maybe doing a parent conference and get amazing guest speakers like yourself that maybe come in and do something with this talk with the parents, because that is a definitely a need that we want. We we can help your child. But if we can give you the tools, yes, then we can win when we both working together.

Zandra Polard 16:09
That's right. That's right. And that applies with school as well. Yes. You know, community includes parents, students, you know, and the child, all three are important

Unknown Speaker 16:19
to work together. Correct. And we like to I know parents, like when we call them think the child has misbehave or did something. But we want to, when we call a parent, we want to your kid did something great today. Yes. And so when we call pick up the phone, it's kind of he okay, you know, we might be complimenting your child, it's not always your child did this, your child did that? Yes, they may have some behaviors that brought you to us. But let's support the child the best way we can. And I like to have parents more involved than they are like, you know, just dropping them off and see you later. Yes, in.

Zandra Polard 16:54
But do you guys work closely with mental health professionals? Because, you know, I'm sure that there are some mental and behavioral issues with the children that you're working with as well? Yes,

Unknown Speaker 17:06
we haven't had that much experience with it. But that's one of the things we're trying to connect. Because we do know, when we're dealing with certain kids, parents don't like to tell us those issues, because they're like, reflecting who the parent is, in which we try to say, it's not a reflection. So the more information you provide for us, the better off we will be. But as far as going is working with MIT, we haven't had that. But we would like that.

Zandra Polard 17:34
Oh, yeah, I think it would be totally necessary. Because I work in the educational system. And it's like, if you don't know and understand who you're dealing with, correct, you know, it's a bigger issue, and how will you know how to handle it? Correct. You know, so and then, you know, there's also parents who worry about the stigma, correct? Which is another reason why I created this show, you know, to help break that stigma, reduce those stigmas, correct, you know, and make mental health? A normal conversation, you know, because we all go mental, here and there. Every once in a while I go lie I do. So, anyhow, Alex, you were telling me that you were breaking off into foster parenting or that you have done that, at some point in time? Can you tell me more what you're doing with children and foster parenting?

Unknown Speaker 18:31
I've been a foster parent for 15 Oh, you are, I am a foster parent for 15 years. Okay. I believe in it, I recognize that there's a need of and how I got in it was when I was working at gi T. I would always do these intakes. And all the kids would come in and when some one of the questions I would ask is, how's your relationship with your parents? And I noticed a lot of young men didn't have fathers. Oh, and either locked up or, you know, dead or haven't never had any relationship with them. And I'm over here trying to help these kids, you know, make good decisions. So I said, You know what, I'm gonna try it. So I my first kid, I said, Listen, I put a lot of pressure on him. I said, Listen, you're my first foster youth. I'm taking a chance. It could be you could be my last foster youth, you know, and he was six foot five 350 pounds. Man, he was big. And they had violent behaviors and all that and I took a chance on him it because when I interviewed him, I sat at the table and I he was looking on me and head down and I was scared. I'm not gonna Oh, wow. But I was like, you know, so I asked him say you'd like tacos. And he had his head down. He lifted it up. And he smiled. And he had the most beautiful smile. Yeah. And I said, I'm gonna take you home. We're gonna go eat tacos. That kid ended up staying in my home. Never was violent. Had the beaut most beautiful heart he went off to college now he works for the state, got married, his kids, my grandchildren. You know, and it just didn't realize I can do more by helping. And so I just continue to foster parenting in this been 15 years and a lot of those kids are in gangs, battles, kids are on probation. I build those relationships with DJ Jas Department of Juvenile Justice service as well, along with Department of Family Services. They recognize they'll go, Alex, there's a kid that really needs your help. Or Alex, we recognize a kid that I think you can really help take them and take them. You know, so

Zandra Polard 20:27
how many have you taken now?

Unknown Speaker 20:29
A lot? I you know, people ask me that question. And I can't even I never counted. All I know is I've

Zandra Polard 20:35
heard you're not talking about foster parenting them. You mean just fine. Mentoring? No, I'm

Unknown Speaker 20:40
a foster parent.

Zandra Polard 20:41
I know you're a foster parent. But when they keep asking you to see other children, oh, they want me to they want you to adopt them

Unknown Speaker 20:47
to foster. I won't adopt them. I'll foster them. Oh,

Zandra Polard 20:51
explain that to me. Because I thought foster parenting and adopting a child were the same thing. No,

Unknown Speaker 20:57
fostering is like, you're like having your cousin stay over your house and you keeping them for the next two, three years? adopting them is? You got somebody's now your cousin buddy, they changed that you changed their name to whatever and what happens with a lot of the foster youth. They go. Alex, will you adopt me? And I tell them no. And the reason I tell them? No, but I say it in a gentle way. Yeah. I asked them why? And they said, because I don't like my dad. I don't like my mom. But I said, What do you know about your grandfather? And your grandmother? I don't know. What if they were great people, right? What if your great great grandparents were great people, maybe you just had bad parents. So why should those people be punished? Because you don't change a name because that's who you're that's in your DNA, right. So I always try to let them know that part. And I'm still gonna love you with your last name different than mine. Yeah. So that's why I'm passionate with that fostering because we recognize that at risk youth don't have father figures. And a lot of those kids that are acting up, they just don't have no foundation. So that's where I come in doing the foster parenting Foundation. And that's also why we do new directions. And that's why we do gi t because we want to set that foundation for all these kids. And you're right on that part about the parent part, we're going to have to put another component there just strictly for the parents. But what again, I love to say remind people is that we're Parks and Recreation. And I know you people will say recreation and parks with youth prevention and intervention in gang programs or working with that gang population. It doesn't make sense. It makes all this Yeah, it makes sense to me is because because those kids that come into our center, they might look like this old, great old kid, never get in trouble. But trust me, their behaviors are at risk. Their language is at risk, all that stuff. And that's why I like to say we're Parks and Recreation, but also like say we're Parks and Recreation. They're the same word. But we create and we'll use recreation, we'll use social, you know, social interaction will use other ACT team building leadership activity, we'll use all that because that's part of falls into parks and recreation. That's beautiful.

Zandra Polard 23:09
So how do we encourage more parents to get into the foster game? Not me. But oh, maybe?

Unknown Speaker 23:16
This isn't I like to get parents to sing just to get him involved. First of all, I think parents need to do a checklist of of how they parent? Because sometimes they'll tell me because checklist. Well, no, I think I think sometimes we have to look evaluate ourselves, say Hey, am I am I doing well for my child? Am I listening? Is my listening skills? Good? My communication skills good with it? Why is it every time I talk to him my blood pressure go up?

Zandra Polard 23:43
Why is it mine? Are their

Unknown Speaker 23:47
parents? Why is it the I noticed I'm cussing as I'm talking to them, I'm yelling yet. At some point, as a parent, we have to go and they'll say, well, they make me mad. Do they make you mad? Or it's not about the kid, maybe it's about you and you're going through some issues? It could be you're going through a change. It could be whatever it is,

Zandra Polard 24:04
and sometimes another show? Yes.

Unknown Speaker 24:07
So I like to have parents to kind of like do a checklist and say, Are you parenting? Well? And how did you become a parent? Did your was your parent a good parent for you? And most likely, most of them will say no parent was so then how are you? Good? Well, not you mama, not mine. But you know what I mean? They'll go How can you be a good parent. And so I had to like me, I had to learn how to be a good parent, I had to learn how to communicate, how to have empathy, sympathy, all those ease to to learn how to be a good parent for not just my kids, it's easy to parent your own kids to meet. It's harder to parent kids that aren't related to you that you know, so that's why I think when we had those kids come into our center, we want to high five them kudos, like, like Sharon said earlier, you know, give them some positive words of a curse because maybe they're not getting it at home. Right, you know, and then eventually down the line to get those calls that Hey, Miss Johnson. I just wanna let you know your son or daughter is amazing. And you've done a wonderful job, because that was encouraging word that you gave to that parent might be the word that makes her even feel better, and makes me want to even do more better.

Unknown Speaker 25:12
Yes.

Zandra Polard 25:13
I love it. Hey, I want to continue this conversation. We're going to fade out into a song. I'm gonna let you pick it before I'm done. But I want to thank everyone for tuning in. Tune in next week. I am here every Saturday at 7:30am All right, thank you for tuning into it's where I am. We'll be back next week with Alex Bernal and Sharon Steele but a you have to introduce the song

Unknown Speaker 25:47
Alex hey this is kindred the family so all my people hey all

Zandra Polard 25:51
my people love it

Unknown Speaker 26:03
moral of the story is for my brother went AWOL from this company

Unknown Speaker 26:19
around me everybody everybody my people around me everybody everybody

Unknown Speaker 26:42
here is clear folks smile no nice the kids are learning what they should learn finally folks are earning what they should

Unknown Speaker 27:05
everybody everybody

Unknown Speaker 27:16
everybody everybody

Unknown Speaker 27:25
is enough to do and stops with me and it's constitute it's complicated but it's simple. Just like patient sharing is a vote you show folks when you stand in their hand when you can do get the loan man oh the plan for the day when you gain we're good

Unknown Speaker 27:52
everybody

Unknown Speaker 28:00
everybody.

Unknown Speaker 28:35
People people around

Unknown Speaker 29:08
Everybody

Transcribed by https://otter.ai