It's Where I Am with Zandra Polard

Wesley Knight 0:00
This is a k, U, N, V studios, original program. You are listening to special programming brought to you by its where I am.com the content of this program does not reflect the views or opinions of 91.5 jazz and more University of Nevada, Las Vegas, or the Board of Regents of the Nevada System of Higher Education. You

Zandra Polard 0:45
Good morning, Las Vegas. It's Sandra Pollard. It's where I am. Is the name of the show. Thank you for tuning in to 91.5 jazz and more. Today we're gonna be talking about, not menopause, midlife crisis, that's what it is. See how those things kind of go hand in hand. Wow. So today I have executive mind coach here, Angie amico, and she's gonna talk to us about midlife crisis. Is it a crisis? She says it's an edge. So let's get into it. Angie, welcome to the show.

Angie Amico 1:32
Hi. Thank you for having me excited to be here.

Zandra Polard 1:35
Yes. So we want to talk about this midlife crisis thing that starts about what around age 40?

Angie Amico 1:45
Just about, yeah, and the truth is, I'm calling it the edge, because I don't think it's a midlife crisis, right? This is pretty much the point where we start to question ourselves, and it's like, is this really it? Or, Hey, we wake up, pay our bills, go to work, rinse and repeat, and we're just kind of like, there's got to be more than life, right? And, and so people start stressing out and, and, you know, honestly, it was happening to me, and a lot of you know, I'm in that age group. I'm 45 years old, and I've crossed my career, you know, doing some mindset coaching and working and consulting counseling. I'm noticing there's, there's a trend that a lot of people around this age is looking around it's like there's got to be more than life, you know, more to life than this. And so that's where the edge of reinvention came from,

Zandra Polard 2:41
okay? And the edge of reinvention is your new YouTube channel. Is that right?

Angie Amico 2:48
Yes, so, so I'm putting together. It's barely gonna, I'm gonna launch it March 15,

Zandra Polard 2:55
and it's called, tell us again, the edge of reinvention. Reinvention, the edge of reinvention. And there you can get some ideas of how you want to plan your time from this point on. Right. Yes, okay, so give us some pointers. We're running the hamster wheel. The kids are grown. We're empty nesters now, or maybe we don't have kids. Maybe we're married, maybe we're single. So you're going to be talking to everyone within this age group, right, male, female. Or is it mostly targeted towards women?

Angie Amico 3:44
No, it's pretty much everybody within that age group. Okay? Because, and again, the thought process here is that we're kind of stuck in this limbo phase where we're too young to retire, and as you said, right, like kids are hopefully out of the house, at least they're grown. Right? The careers are starting to get a little stale. You know, sometimes our relationships are starting to kind of one of the things that happens if you're still with your significant other, the kids have left, and you look at your partner and you're like, Who the hell are you? Right? Because you've been so focused being a parent and a caregiver and a provider that you forgot who you are and what you want out of life.

Zandra Polard 4:28
So how do you start those conversations with your spouse, you know, or your significant other?

Angie Amico 4:36
I think, a very simple just Hi. How are you doing? You know, it's like we get to reconnect and just kind of start over, you know, really getting to learn who this person is, because we take each other for granted, right? And we're not who we were when we were 20. We you know, it's like we've lived a whole life to. Together, and we've grown in that aspect, but now we get to grow again into the next phase of life,

Zandra Polard 5:06
right? Yes, you know, I've discovered that I like travel. So in my younger years, raising children, we didn't travel out of the country. We stayed. Everything was domestic. So now, you know, I get to travel abroad, and that's something that I've added to my you know, things that I like to do now that I've never done before, right? So we have to have this toolbox, and we have to keep adding to it, right? So for me, it's travel, and then how do you give advice to those who are listening? So like for me, it's advice. Do you come up with different themes that they can try for the week or the month.

Angie Amico 6:04
It's a combination. So, I mean, I've already started to record some of the videos and get some topics I do want people to, you know, tune in and start giving me some, you know, in their comments and, you know, sharing with me what it is that they want to hear. Okay, um, but for instance, one of the, one of the videos that I recently recorded, is we get so caught up in the labels, right, even the label of being a parent, and you never stop being a parent. But now that has shifted. It has changed. You're, you know, you're no longer, you know, front and center of your child's life. You're in the sidelines just watching them grow and live and start their setting up their lives, right? So how do you, you know, shift that label, same thing with work and careers like sometimes we feel like, okay, well, I've been doing this for 20 years, something different, but I'm too old. It's like, are you though you know you're you're able to do and find different ways to live out your dreams, like you said, with your travel right? Like before it was domestic. Now you can, you know, travel the world when you start to expand right, or you start to say things like, you know, oh, and going back to those labels, it's, you need to start paying attention to what it is that you're telling yourself, right? I'm too old, I'm too tired, it's too late. I can't do that anymore, you know? I decided to go back to school and get my PhD last year. Oh, wow. It's like, I'm not too old. Yeah, and, and it's like, because we get to do that, I think that's one of the things that when we're 20 and we're starting to set up our lives, and we start to create it, and we build it, and then fast forward 20 years later, it's you get that, been there, done, that feeling. And again, you start to feel stuck. You're at that edge, right, where you're just like, where do I go? Because, again, you're too young to retire, right? But you're you're feeling too old to be able to reinvent yourself. And I'm here to say that's not the case. So right, get

Zandra Polard 8:15
into the career. You get into personal growth. And what are some other aspects?

Angie Amico 8:24
I think mindset is really the biggest thing in the lifestyle, right? Because, again, I'll give you an example. I had a friend of mine, and it was, again, out of these kinds of conversations, is where I've been getting ideas for topics, and where the show itself even came to play, okay? And she's, she's 50 years old, you know, she's divorced, her kids are out of the house, and she's like, I'm done doing the corporate life. But you know, I don't, I still have my bills. I you know, I'm too young to get Social Security, you know? And so I was like, Have you considered, you know, semi retirement, right? Like, can you downsize and get yourself a little condo? Like, why do you need to have the big house, right? The Big House was important and necessary when you had the children in the home. But now it's like, do you really need that? And so those are the kinds of things where it's like, I start to ask those questions. It's like, again, going back to those labels, right? And those beliefs, that we feel, that life should look a certain way, and I'm here to say, Screw that. That's not the truth. And even like using you as an example. You know, you love to travel, and let's say your husband doesn't. It's like, okay, can you go get the girls and go, you know, on a cruise and leave him behind, like your relationship is stable enough, absolutely, right, right? But some people, and it's funny. Like for you and I were like, Heck, yeah. But some people really don't think in that manner. They don't start to look at the different possibilities. They're so stuck in what is and what should be, right, that I had

Zandra Polard 10:13
a big thing here. Shout out to Galaxy Glenn. He gave me a lot of crap about traveling without my husband. He thought that was the like, that was something I should not do. And I couldn't believe it. I was just like, why would I not go somewhere? Because he's not going

Angie Amico 10:38
exactly and again. And here's the thing, like going and I go back and forth, right? Because when we're kids and we start getting together with our partners, we want it. First of all, we're so in love, and, you know, it's like, it's the movie kind of feel, where we just want to hold hands, and we can never be separated, right? You know, it's us together forever, and that's great and all. But then we start to get real, right? And it's okay to have your own interest, right? It is healthy to for two people to come together, yeah,

Zandra Polard 11:11
and it's better when I get back, exactly everything's better exactly everything when I get back, and

Angie Amico 11:19
exactly, and vice versa. You know, I don't know. I'm just gonna, for the sake of the example, let's just say that he loves to golf, right? And he does okay. So you know what, babe, go play golf like, I'm gonna go with the girls. I'll see you. We'll have dinner, we'll connect later. That's right, like, because as we mature, we realize that we're not so dependent on each other, and we get to live our own lives and still come together, right? And but again, going back to those labels and those beliefs, where people think that everything needs to look a certain way, and sure, that's how it worked for you 20 years ago when you first got together. But fast forward, you guys get to reinvent your relationship,

Zandra Polard 12:07
and it's okay, because, you know, there are a lot of CO dependent relationships out there. You know, one feels like they can't do anything without the other period,

Angie Amico 12:18
right? And absolutely, and there's nothing wrong with that either. But I'm saying it's like,

Zandra Polard 12:23
well, yes, it is. Oh yes, baby. I'm here to tell you it is because you know what? That codependency people feel like. You know you're responsible for their happiness. You're responsible for these things that you're actually not. And so we have to learn to not be co dependent,

Angie Amico 12:54
if we are that way in the true sense, okay, so in the true sense of the word of codependency, Absolutely, I agree with you. I think that is an unhealthy mechanism, and 100% on point with you, what I'm saying is word codependent, right? People just throw certain words around, and what they mean to say is that they always need to be attached to the hip, right? That they always need to do things together because they truly enjoy doing that. Right? It's not because they fear that and they have that anxiety of that other person's gonna leave, and the jealousy and all of that, that's a whole other can of worm, right? I'm not even you know what I mean. I'm talking about if I genuinely want to spend and go on a cruise with my significant other, and it's not because out of codependence and attachment, um, it's because I truly just want to have a second honeymoon with him. Yes, then, then that's different, right? And if that feels right for you, then go for it, you know, because

Zandra Polard 14:00
I, too, have some friends who they do as couples. They do everything together, and it's like, it's okay, because they enjoy that together. So who am I to say? Don't do that. Right for me, I couldn't handle it. I could not personally, be around my husband, 24/7, I have to take a little break and

Angie Amico 14:29
then reconnect. And you have your people that will be like, Oh, that's horrible, but it's like, No, it's true. That's almost like, right? Like, okay, so I recently also became a grandmother. Oh, congrats, and thank you. And so in telling my daughter, I was telling her, I'm like, You know what? It's okay to not be okay. And we've heard that that's such a cliche. But she was laughing at me. She's like, Mom, I just love how you keep it so real. I'm like, You know what everybody talks about? You know? How awesome you know being a mother is, and motherhood and just, you know, it's just like, Oh my baby, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, No, you know what? It's like, you're gonna be tired. You're gonna be this baby's gonna be spitting up on you. You know, he's a boy. I said. I'm like, if you're not quick with that diaper change, it's like, you're gonna get, you know? And so we romanticize so much of it, right? We people, and that's where, again, at our age, it's, let's stop with that, right? And let's be real, and let's do what works for us. You know, it's like, and that's part of it, because, again, people get so stuck on what they're told to do, right, right, what? And so now it's like, no, we get to reinvent ourselves. We're too damn old to be told, you know, I'm sorry if somebody like you said, if somebody starts telling you, like, Hey, you're wrong for leaving your husband behind. It's like, Nope, you ain't my daddy. Like you are no one to tell me and again. But it's almost like, for some of us, we need that permission, yes, to do what we want. And that's really what all of this is about, and that's what this channel is going to be about. It's just like, You know what? I'm going to be calling people out. Be calling people out and saying, like, No, you know? Like, you have to own the mistakes. Like, oh, I could have had this career, but I do this. It's like, you know what? No, you made that choice, and you made it 20 years ago. So stop, right? Like, stop going back to the glory years. It's like, you're not there anymore. You are here. It's where I am. And so you got to start here. And as you were like, what you asked me was, in terms of relationships, is that you start where you are, and you look around and be like, Okay, right? First question, and a lot of people are afraid to say this, you know, if they look at their significant other and things are a little stale, you evaluate that, and you're like, Okay, how do we get to know each other again? How do we breathe life into our relationship and how to and it's the same thing with every aspect of our lives, with jobs, with where we live, wherever we are, you know, and it really is a choice away, but we're so afraid of taking that extra step.

Zandra Polard 17:33
You know, I did something really simple with my husband a few weeks ago. We went to the jacuzzi and we sat and talked, and that was a major reset for us. It wasn't we had to get dressed up and go out. We just went outside, got in that hot tub. And I'm telling you, it was the best reset of 2025

Angie Amico 18:05
and it's those little things and that, and again, it's just the we start to appreciate certain things, right, and differently, but we still kind of try to bring the old stuff with us, and it's Just like, it's time to let it go, you know? It's like our bodies look different, certain things don't work in the same manner. It's like, okay, where do we go? And having those real conversations,

Zandra Polard 18:33
and just rewiring our brain and our thought process

Angie Amico 18:40
exactly, you know. And that's where the mindset comes in, and it this applies to every aspect of of your life and the relationship with yourself, you know, the and it sounds all cheesy, and I don't like, I'm very much a realist, and I like give it to you straight. So it's not a lot of Woo, woo, you know, but there is some truth to the woo, woo stuff, right? If I'm looking at myself every morning and just like, Oh, I'm disgusted with the way I feel and the way my life turns out, that you're already starting the day off wrong, right? And you need to rewire yourself and just be like, You know what? Hey, I still got it. I still and you start to find certain things, you know, my waist is not the same size it was 20 years ago, and that's okay, you know, I've made some different career choices. And you know, some were great, some were not, and I'm not where I wanted to be. Okay, great. Where can I be now, right? So instead of dragging the baggage of life with you every day, just let it go every day and be appreciative. And start looking at the possibilities. What can you do today? What can you do now?

Zandra Polard 20:06
So, Angie, can you give us your social media handles? Because listeners may need to be reminded of where to find the edge of reinvention.

Angie Amico 20:19
So the edge of reinvention is a YouTube channel, so it's going to be called. It is called the edge of reinvention. Um, I am also on Instagram, so Angie amico, I'm trying to keep it as easy as possible. Angie A N, G, i e, amico, a m, I C, O, excuse me. I am on Facebook as well, Angie amico and and on LinkedIn.

Zandra Polard 20:48
We love Facebook.

Angie Amico 20:50
Oh, I know, I know. And that's the other thing. So it's like, and it's so funny, because we as Gen Xers, it's like we were brought up to be so tough and just not care, but so many of us are struggling right now,

Zandra Polard 21:06
struggling.

Angie Amico 21:09
We're struggling because of the fact that it's just like we're we're in this, this limbo state, right? Like we shouldn't care, but we do of what's next. We're worried about what's next, but we're we've also were taught to hide it and pretend like it's not an issue, and you just, you know, have to put on a smile and be grateful for what you have. And so I'm saying, no,

Zandra Polard 21:37
no, there's so much more. That's what you're saying. There's so much,

Angie Amico 21:42
exactly, and it's just like, you know, being on that edge. And the reason that came to me is we're like, on this roller coaster ride, right? So we're, we've been for the last 40 years, kind of going uphill in that roller coaster, but now we're on that edge, and we're about to swoop down, and the fun is about to begin. Because if we think about it, a lot of the responsibilities of the day to day lives with our families, trying to figure out what our careers are and everything for most of us, we've already got that figured out enough to where now it's about us. What do we want out of life? Do we want to travel more. Do we want to have better relationships?

Zandra Polard 22:22
Do we want to go back to school like you did? Yeah, right, yeah,

Angie Amico 22:26
yeah, you don't do it's like we can do anything we want. It's no longer I mean, hell, we can just go out to dinner, go on the jacuzzi at night, not have to worry about, like, I gotta go grocery shopping and make dinner, get the kids to her and, I mean, it's like, we really get to inject our wants and needs into our life, but unfortunately, we were told we couldn't,

Zandra Polard 22:55
and so that's what you're gonna give us. You're gonna give us some ideas that we may want to jump into, right? So that sounds exciting,

Angie Amico 23:07
because I'm hoping so, and it's just,

Zandra Polard 23:09
it's like, I can't travel all the time. Like, what else you know? What else do I want to do? What else is out there I may want to try? Yeah, so I appreciate exactly what is possible. Don't forget, the edge of reinvention comes out on YouTube. March 15 is the debut. So Angie, any last words, all

Angie Amico 23:39
I can say is, honestly failing is not scary. I think what really scares the crap out of me, and I hope that most people do, is seeing exactly where they are and knowing that they don't belong there. So my goal is to help everybody move out of that into that, and reinvent them their lives and live the life that they actually want to live. Wonderful.

Zandra Polard 24:03
Thank you so much for coming on to the show and sharing your vision to move people off the edge. So this is Sandra Pollard. It's where I am. Is on every Saturday morning at 7:30am Thank you, 91.5 jazz and more, the best jazz station in the nation. We'll talk to you next week. Tune in, and if you've missed any portion of this podcast or broadcast, you can find me on all your major podcast platforms until then, see you next week. Have a good one. Bye. You.