It's Where I Am with Zandra Polard

Kevin Krall 0:00
This program is paid for by its where I m.com The content of this program does not reflect the values or opinions of 91.5k U and V or the University of Nevada Las Vegas.

Unknown Speaker 0:37
Good morning Las Vegas it's Zondra pool art with it's where I am today. My guests are shutdown a Nelson, and Dana Mac. Today we're going to talk about some serious issues. So just be ready. Hold on, we're going to talk about trauma. So trauma is an important thing. We have to all learn to work through our trauma, so that we can function not only for ourselves, but in society as well. My guest today should Tona is a survivor of trauma, and I have an assistant here with me today. She's going to co host the show with me her name is Ken Nika Ross, I'm going to have Kanika Ross to read some. What is this shuttle Anna that you wrote? Well, what would I call this? Um, it

Unknown Speaker 1:25
was just inspiration. I woke up one day and I just was walking down memory lane. And I was like, hmm, maybe someone will need this. So this list has, I've added on to it throughout the years, and I just put it in in different form for the first time and I posted it and people were like, yeah, yeah. So yeah, it's just a little bit of inspiration of my personal experiences.

Unknown Speaker 1:49
Okay, can Nika while I'm gonna have you to read this personal statement, this inspirational and everyone out there, take the take a minute and listen and see if you've been able to transcend from your current state.

Unknown Speaker 2:04
She turned to being a rape victim into an empowerment platform. She turned a failed marriage and fake friends people in general into an Ivy League self love initiative and book, she turned having a heart condition and to her recent to conquer wellness. She turned losing her dream job into creating dream jobs for others internationally. She turned in unmerited arrest until the new civil rights movement. She turned humble beginnings. Yes, I've been broke into proclamations and congressional Awards. She turned losing chase her brother, and David a soulmate into a recent to love deeply and heal. And not only that she worked with the top leaders, influencers, entertainment networks in the world, she has become one. What will you do with your pain? Will you let it break you? Or will you let it redefine you?

Unknown Speaker 3:00
Thank you, can you go? You know, I was saying earlier, if I had gone through half of what you've been through shutdown, I'd be in the corner, smoking a pack of cigarettes, I wouldn't know what to do or how to handle it. When you were 11, you were right and left for dead in a ditch. Tell us about that.

Unknown Speaker 3:19
I was a very sheltered child, I didn't really get out or get to go much. I was I was raised by my grandmother as well as my mom. So this would probably be the very first time I'd ever gotten to go anywhere. Okay, especially for any type of overnight thing. It just didn't happen. It was December 24. But it was very, very late. And this particular year, I believe Sunday was falling on Christmas. So we would all have to get back up and and go to church anyway. So my mom got Okay, I'll send her with the boys. I'm generally the only girl with my boy cousin. Okay, I'm chasing my first cousin, but was more or less raised like my brother. So we went, I went to and an art house. And obviously she would have nothing to do with this. She would actually go to bed and her boyfriend at that time was separating me from the boys and put me into a separate room. He would later come back that night and ask knock on the door and I would unlock it for some reason I lock the door and open it and he said the computer is on. Can you turn around and cut it off. And as I turned to turn off the computer, he would rat one hand around my mouth and other around my neck and he would brutally assault me. I wish I could tell you how I ended up outside in a ditch but at some point I lost consciousness. And it wasn't until the next day that I would hear Chase screaming my name As I'm keeping my we're only at about 18 months apart or something like that. Okay, so he's only 12. So you guys,

Unknown Speaker 5:07
you guys were all staying the night at your aunt's house. You were separated into into a different room. It was the arts boyfriend who violated you in the home? And then so did it. Did the did the rape occur in the home? Or did he take you out of the home? When? How did you get out of the house?

Unknown Speaker 5:33
I don't know how I got out of the house. I do know that he did begin to assault me in the house. So the rate did start inside the house. I remember actually grabbing and reaching trying to pull down stuff from the computer, Stan, and reaching and grabbing and scratching and fighting. But again, I was elected. So he would begin assaulting me. And then I would blank out. And when I will wake up, I will wake up to chase looking for me.

Unknown Speaker 6:03
Oh, wow. And so this made national news you are 11 who contacted you, you were on the news about this. So it was pretty bad?

Unknown Speaker 6:13
Well, it was a really small town. I'm from a very small town in Louisiana. So for something like this to occur in a town that has 1500 people, it's going to make news everywhere. It's not going to be a situation where that and worse than that. He choked me so much. And so the only time I was able to tell the story, it was when Chase found me and he would go on to tell the narrative. Because I wasn't able to actually talk I think I was able to whisper a little bit but by the time I would get to the hospital, I would need like 11 stitches on my bottom part. And the doctors were amazed that I could speak because he choked me so much to I didn't have a voice for a while. Even after it healed. I just got accustomed to being quiet. So it made national news. At one point, coolly cruelly, people would joke that there was a Lifetime movie that came out where a girl who was choked right and left in a ditch and she lost her voice people in my town would be like, you know, that's about you. Right? That would be how brutal it was. It was a very brutal situation.

Unknown Speaker 7:23
People can be so brutal oh my god now. So fast forward. Did you get any mental health services did your parents did your family who was involved with that? Getting you help

Unknown Speaker 7:37
my my mom, at some point, they try to go to therapy route, I would go to therapy and from a very young age, I was like 10 talking people out of killing themselves. Right? I was always really wise beyond my years, I would go to therapy and I wouldn't be dealing with therapists who would in turn be like when you're different and they'd be talking to me. So I really didn't get mental health into I was much much older. I just I cope. I felt I just decided to fight.

Unknown Speaker 8:08
Okay, the while you went through all of that and you experienced you know, therapy that didn't work out so great for you. But yet you started you are now the CEO of limitless resource which is a mental health agency.

Unknown Speaker 8:23
Right? I'm just because I did not maybe get it then it was such a negative connotation. gotta realize I'm 32 years old. A decade is a very long time and the African American community when we're talking about mental health, yes, he just really got on the other side of like, Yeah, let's all get a therapist. Right? From a point where you okay, go to church? Don't tell Jesus about it, baby. It's gonna be all right. So although I wish back then I would have because so many things came from that right, so much of my, my other traumas that I really wouldn't deal with and to chase that. And physically, my body, for the first time gave up on me mentally I was there, but I was literally sick. And I was forced at that point to say, You know what, I need to talk to somebody because he told my narrative or he had fought or he had protected me for so long, that for the first time in my life, I was having a look. I was having to look the demons in the face and what the saying says, you know, don't run from your demons learn their names. I was 25 years old before I had to learn that my demons had names, right? And to sit down in front of a therapist, and for them to say, What's wrong with you? Because you're doing this in life? You're doing that. But what is it tell me what's going on and for me to have to say and none of it is real. I wear masks. I wear masks. Well, and it wasn't until I was actually this past two years that I really got close to some amazing therapists. And I think the hardest question when ever asked me was about maybe two years back. She said, Tell me about the happiest time of your life. And I looked at her and I said, I don't remember being happy. Why? She said, ever. And I said, ever. And she said, why? I said, you know, you can't be happy when it's a mask on. And that would be the first time in my life where I would have to make some serious decisions. I had kids, I had this farm, I was involved with so many things. But I had to look at myself in the mirror and say, How can you be happy if you don't even know what you want? Wow,

Unknown Speaker 10:31
it was hard. And you've given so much I know, you're a part of My Brother's Keeper, which is the President Barack Obama's initiative. Okay, are you still involved?

Unknown Speaker 10:41
Yeah, um, so I do a whole bunch of community banks, just one of the many organizations I work with Samantha spade, obviously, they give out about a million pairs of shoes a year to children, I was a part of the Harvey cleanup. If I could do whatever I want it right. I would literally traveled the world and be the modern day Mother Teresa. So I'm very, very involved in multiple organizations, especially those that involve a raise children, or any kind of racial imprint, oppression or injustice exists. I'm a part of it, literally have a day in Houston for that the mayor gave me my own day in a city. And the governor would actually give me the highest honor that a Texan could receive, which would be the yellow rose of Texas. And then senators would recognize me across, I think it's four or five different states for my work within different communities with different people. And I mean, it just none of that really matters. At the end of the day. It's just when you get to go into a city and feed some people or Washington KidsPeace and put on some shoes or look at a little girl and understand that she can't talk to anyone else. But I know she could talk to me because she don't realize I see the victim in her eyes. Wow. It's life changing. Wow, this lifetime,

Unknown Speaker 11:59
and you're working with sex trafficking on the federal level as well. Right.

Unknown Speaker 12:04
Right. Right. Yeah. That's something that I have been involved in for about four years. I used to volunteer a lot when it came to trafficking victims. But it wasn't until about four years ago, that I really, really wanted to get involved. I live in Houston, it is, you know, central to trafficking. It's probably rank and maybe like the top five, what's Las

Unknown Speaker 12:27
Vegas, because we live in Las Vegas? I know.

Unknown Speaker 12:31
It's like Atlanta, Houston, la Vegas. We the numbers switch, often. But those cities we hot cities for Wow. Yeah, I believe a very hot city. So it's, it's very rough. So I got involved in that. Because truly I you know, I don't know if this is good to say, I hack. That was the thing that I learned to do at 11 to keep me entertained, because I didn't have friends and things like that white hat. White hat hackers, by the way, is three different types of hackers, you have white hat, they hack for the good they work for companies, those are the people that social dilemmas kind of talking about how they can determine what you search on the internet and how you can think about a bank and and it'll pop up on your screen. Oh, it's gray hat. And they do a little bit of the bad stuff and a little bit of the good stuff. And then there's black hackers. And they just hack and tear up all kinds of things all around the world. So I got into checking because I understood hacking, and I know on the black market, we have about a million new people. That's, that's a part of that, that sees new kids or new people being trafficked every day. It's like the number one thing. So when I began to understand that, because I had I could see on the black market, the numbers were a million a day and going up. And they had followers of that capacity. I was like, Wait a minute. So what's going on and I realized how dire it was to get involved. So I start dealing with women in my community first and watch how you get on the internet, watch what you post, oh, your location is on? Oh, don't put your child on there. They're gonna come and get your child because that's how they find them. And ultimately, Jesse Bob, and I end up doing it on the federal level.

Unknown Speaker 14:22
Well, thank you so much for all that you do. And I'm so glad that you are alive and well and helping the community today.

Unknown Speaker 14:32
Thank you so much. I don't

Unknown Speaker 14:35
go anywhere. I want you to stick around. But I want to bring in my next guest, Dana Mac, how are you?

Unknown Speaker 14:42
Hi. I am well and in deep gratitude.

Unknown Speaker 14:49
Welcome so much to the show. Thank you.

Unknown Speaker 14:52
Thank you. I just want to acknowledge shaitana Thank you for sharing your story and just know you are up lifting and helping, just an abundance of people just by using your courage to be able to speak on it. So I show how to use this to. Yes.

Unknown Speaker 15:10
Hey, man. Sure. So Dana, you're working on a documentary right now called fatherless daughters. Tell us a little bit more about that. And then I want to get into some of the other things that you're doing.

Unknown Speaker 15:26
Okay, so the documentary is basically looking at the relationships between fathers and their daughters, and how it affects their interpersonal relationships with men. And so whether your father was in your life, but emotionally distant, or physically, you know, absent there at all, how does that correlate into the relationship that you have with, you know, men. And so from the lens of I was, I am a father was daughter, my father was murdered when I was 18 years old. Wow. And I had just had my son, and so he never got to meet my son. And it's, it's been, you know, many, many years after, but you still pay attention to how that has affected or at least for me, affected my life, and the things that I do, and the men that I've been connected to, and in my past, and just looking at it, and looking at the women in my family. So I was in my undergrad, I wrote a paper on the different variations of Cinderella and across the globe, some of them have the father in the home and without until we had to write a paper. And so I chose to write from the perspective of myself. And then I looked at all the women in my families, I have a bunch of cousins like my same age, and I looked at those who had that dynamic of the Father in their home, and then were they married or not. And I remember, as I was doing my research, I heard a pastor on one of our local stations here, actually Stevie Wonder station. And on Sundays I play gospel, KTLA or de la, kindness, joy, love and happiness. That's right. He basically said, The Father is a girl's first boyfriend, and he teaches her how men should treat her, and that the love that the Father gives to her comes to her freely. And when that is not the case, you are basically put in a position where men are become predatory. So you are set up for promiscuity, you know, pre marital sex.

Unknown Speaker 17:58
Well, my dad was in the home, and I did all that. So I just want to put that out there. But I love your dad.

Unknown Speaker 18:04
And this is not all or nothing, you know, and your what's your shows, but there's a large number of women that have these stories that have those situations. And so for me, I'm looking at it not just from the perspective of getting the testimonies just from women, but also there are men who are not allowed to be in their daughter's lives, right. And so the space is open for not just women, but also for men. And then I look at it also from a historical perspective. So I have historians that come on and speak on the idea of when did we first start to see men no longer in the homes. And so that's a piece that I also have therapists that are trained in trauma. And look at it from that perspective. I have one therapist,

Unknown Speaker 18:54
question, Dana. So are they are they like interviews? And then this documentary? Yes, it's okay. And you have historians therapist and anecdotal stories, is that correct?

Unknown Speaker 19:07
Exactly. Okay. And the reason why that therapist piece is very important is because just hearing shaitana story, and then that gap between when she received some type of, you know, therapeutic services that, well, if I am a fatherless daughter, then what do I do? You know, if I'm a woman that has that, what do I do? So there's prescriptive measures in bed it within this documentary that says, here are some things that can help. And here are some ways to help you understand a little better about whatever it is that you see as your story and how that affects because there once again, it's not about everybody, but we're speaking to those who have and do and are resonating with this. And then I add in fathers and daughters who have beautiful relationships and that they can share with us, you know how that dynamic plays out? out and just give it up a full a comprehensive look, you know, not just one, no myopic view. Yes, yes. You know. So that's where we are. And I've have a soundtrack coming with it. Because the way that I have put it together, my mother and my father were not together, they were not in a relationship. And so for me, I never had my father in the home with my mother at the same time to have that as a child. But what I did have is they both had a love of music, right? So I came up during the beginning of the hip hop era. And so I have brought that together with my love of hip hop. And so hip hop is the backdrop of it. Okay. All things everything.

Unknown Speaker 20:51
Wait a minute, that documentary doesn't come out yet? No. So I wanted you to like, let us know, let the listeners know about it. And I want to invite you back. almost definitely. Like it comes out and bring it here. It's where I am and let us know first or certain, you know, normally,

Unknown Speaker 21:12
every night on the soundtrack, I will let you know that there's some heavy hitters.

Unknown Speaker 21:17
I wish it was a screening because I sure would be there. But you know what, I usually have a mental health professional on the show when I have my guests. But, you know, these ladies are both so powerful, and dynamic. I just wanted to make sure there was enough time for them to get their information across to everyone. Yeah. So Dana. With that being said, you can find their bios and information on its where I am.com You can see their pictures, bios, and get information resources there. Please go to the resource tab. Make sure you subscribe. Thank you very much. Now Dana, yes. With all it is trauma. Yeah, Daddy's missing. Yes. People cutting up not acting right. Right daily life. What how can we we recenter Malkin, we will sigh and get back to where we should be.

Unknown Speaker 22:24
The answer to that question is always going to be for me. Yoga and meditation. With a little bit of hip hop thrown in for good.

Unknown Speaker 22:37
Weights. Okay. You do these yoga classes? Yes, I do every Saturday, every Sunday, every Sunday. So my do them. They're online? Yes, they're online. And so if we need to get rescinded on a Sunday and church didn't do it. Right. Right. I can do yoga with you. I'm out yoga with that. Where do we go to do that?

Unknown Speaker 23:04
You can follow me on my instagram accounts. Okay. And Facebook. So if you come in and try to friend me, I still have more room for others. But Dana mag d a n a. m a cc. You can follow me there. And I have another page. It's more of a personal page. But I also put it there. It's I DMACC. So Id Mac. I haven't been there as well.

Unknown Speaker 23:29
Okay, so we have the father, the fatherless daughter documentary coming. We have yoga on Sundays. And I know, this is my favorite part. Yeah, the children's book. Tell us about the children's book. Because your kids are going back to school. The kids are going back to school right now not reading. I know my kids ain't ready. One of them will be there. Right? Twice a week because I need a little head space. Yeah. For myself.

Unknown Speaker 24:09
It came about I have a love of this adventure and I'm a Star Wars fan. I love you guys. Remember Pippi Longstocking? Oh, yeah, Indiana Jones, and Pirates of the Caribbean Of course. And so just from that piece, I grew up in an era where teachers really had a love for reading at least the teachers that I had, and I was introduced to the literary word at an early age I was reading when I was four. I was a headstart kid. And so it just kind of took off from there. And the idea or the story just came one day I was on the three to 10 freeway here in Pasadena, and it just hit me like that. And I love lip gloss. I love traveling to only places where the water is blue. Okay, come on.

Unknown Speaker 24:58
Talk to my love language.

Unknown Speaker 25:00
All right. So here we have Mackenzie. She's a free spirited, free spirited, courageous eight year old, who, you know, occasionally she plays with her dogs. But other than that, she goes out and you know, she tears it down and turns the world upside down as black Mack the pirate.

Unknown Speaker 25:17
Oh, I love it. Oh, now, you know. Now this show is recorded for YouTube. And you can find the show at it's where I am.com. And it will be this show for March. But for those who cannot see the book at this time, give us the name of the book, tell them where they can find it.

Unknown Speaker 25:38
The pirate who loves flip flops by Dana Mac bikes, and you can find it at Amazon, you can find it at Barnes and noble.com, it's headed to target.com It's black calm, the ebook will be on Apple it's coming. And the reason why it's coming in because some of the flow down to get it there in the proper way, takes a little bit of time. And so all those different places you can surely get it, you know, and pick it up. And if you see me anywhere, I'll definitely sign it for you. But the main thing that I want to say that touches on bullying, and the story and diversity and inclusion and equity, and similarities and differences. And I speak to that in the in the back of the book or I also talk about you know what a collector is and the different names of collectors. And I use tier three words which are words that are really or in a specific subject matter that are just honed into that. So for example, as far as science words that are just that you would hear for science, and this helps children to build in their vocabulary. And then I give a some prescriptive for stakeholders and parents and teachers and what can you do for children who are or have been being bullied, I was bullied when I was a kid. I remember a guy took my cat and swung my cat around by the tail doesn't let my cat

Unknown Speaker 27:02
bullying still exist for grownups, too. Now, if you think about it, you gotta grow women on TV, who we pray for them because they believe in another one man. And we wonder why kids are so cruelest.

Unknown Speaker 27:13
Right? Yeah, yeah, I was I was bullied by two boys. One of the one that's one of my cat. He was like a giant, and I'm on it. And so I couldn't understand, like, why was this guy behaving this way. And so it has information in there for children who are being bullied and those who have been the bully, you know, and so things that students can do, because sometimes you just don't know who to talk to, you know, in our students, sometimes the person who laughs and jokes and kids around with them the most is the person that they feel comfortable coming to, to give that, you know, story to, and I have been that for a lot of children. And that's something that I'm very proud of, because most times they won't talk to you and you don't know. And so that book is to help open up that dialogue. And let parents and children like you said, Even adults to to be able to gain a little bit more courage to the eyes, legs and flip flops and little Mackenzie here as black matter pirate and just go on out there and be their true i am's and their courageous and fearless selves.

Unknown Speaker 28:23
I love it. Wonderful. Well, I want to thank you ladies, we're going to wrap this up here in just a few moments. Want to make sure you all gave your information to the listeners. Should Jonah let's start with you.

Unknown Speaker 28:35
Hi guys, you can find me across all platforms as fatahna J Nelson, you can definitely get involved in any of my causes, like limitless resource or anything else that I have going on in the community. I am always doing something. So I look forward to having you guys follow if you need public relations. I own a very successful public relations firm. And I do quite a bit of TV. So I would love to hear your stories and collaborate, connect and align. Here's the synergy. And Dana,

Unknown Speaker 29:09
for me, it's Dana mag.com. And again, Dana Mack across all social platforms. Stay abreast for the documentary fabulous daughters trauma revealed and generations healed. I am in pre production and we are working on that on track and please please go out and get the pirate who left flip flops and write me a review wherever you purchase.

Unknown Speaker 29:37
One let me be your publicist real quick. I put on these magic glasses for the

Unknown Speaker 29:49
stars Oh Ali,

Unknown Speaker 29:50
you know positivity positivity out 2021

Unknown Speaker 29:54
I'm gonna have my I'm gonna have my today's co host who barely colos did to roll on in. Come on.

Unknown Speaker 30:09
We might not know.

Unknown Speaker 30:13
But let him know what you got going on what's coming up? What can we look forward to seeing from you can Nikka Ross? Yes,

Unknown Speaker 30:20
ma'am. I have a lower apparel Houston coming this summer. I just moved here. From Houston. I grew up in Vegas, but with COVID and everything, I just wanted to be around family. So I did start it in Houston. And it will be an online clothing, women's apparel company with all sizes for women of all ages plus sizes coming this summer. Thank you ladies, and you'd have a blessed day.

Unknown Speaker 30:44
And hopefully I'll be wearing some of that apparel here on its way.

Unknown Speaker 30:50
When did I give her my address now or?

Unknown Speaker 30:53
No after we're recording? So hey, Las Vegas. Thank you for tuning in. We'll see you next month, second Saturday of the month at 8:30am. And you can catch me anytime you want on it's where I am.com. So thank you for listening. And I'll see you next month with my guest, Chris Spitzer. Thank you

Transcribed by https://otter.ai