It's Where I Am with Zandra Polard

Kevin Krall 0:00
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Zandra Polard 0:50
Good morning Las Vegas Zondra polearm. With it's where I am. Today, my guests are Dr. Gwendolyn green, and Miss Jessica Hernandez. Today we're going to be talking about protecting our youth in school. Hey, Las Vegas is right at the bottom, for education, and for mental health. So we want to, you know, dive in here and talk about some of the things that parents such as myself and Jessica, are dealing with, in Las Vegas. So I know for me, I had an incident with my son. And luckily, I had the time to deal with the situation. Not every parent has the time and resources to take care of things that may come up in school. So I will say this, my, my, excuse me, not my husband. So for me, I will say this, my son was written up for bullying. Now, when I went to the school to hear what happened, I was told oh, well, you know, we're just gonna go through these six papers. And, you know, we'll get you out of here right away. Well, no, you're not. What are these six papers? What happened? What are the statements involved? What happened because I need to see how your story matches up with my son story. And they didn't match. So after finding out more information, we reconvened The following week, because I was not satisfied with the investigation that was done. And based upon further investigation, it was found out that the situation was deemed and circumstantial. Along with that, the school was also reported to CPS for educational neglect, harassment, and a list of other things. So this show is about protecting our youth. If you don't have time to do all of this, what would you do if, if the school called you and said, your son or your daughter is in trouble for X, Y, and Z? If you can even get down there before school is over? How do you handle it? Do you just accept what they say? And just go along with the process? You got to stand up for your kids and find out what actually happened? Take some time to investigate. And don't be afraid to ask them questions. So Jessica, I want to get into your stories. I know that you have an unfortunate situation with your child who is on the autism spectrum. And as she is nonverbal, as well as that correct.

Unknown Speaker 3:48
She She was for a long time, there was a large portion of her career in CCSD that she couldn't, couldn't express herself verbally.

Zandra Polard 4:00
Okay, so as far as I understand, I know that and this show is not about trying to beat up CCSD this show is about helping parents support their children and take appropriate action when necessary. Okay. So going on with your story, your child nonverbal at the time, right?

Unknown Speaker 4:26
She she was in this class with this teacher for a number of yours and for a large portion of that she was nonverbal. She, after being at home with us during the pandemic and spending more time in conversation with family members. She somehow flourished and now she's able to talk. This would have been her first year starting in that classroom as a verbal child. I say that to say that she could speak But she wasn't intelligible is the word that they would use to describe her her language a lot.

Zandra Polard 5:05
Oh, wow. Okay. So let's get to the bottom line. I understand that your child was kicked by her teacher. And when you set up the meeting to speak with the principal, the teacher and the other at think the other witness, which was like the teacher's aide or something, the

Unknown Speaker 5:28
special education facilitator, okay.

Zandra Polard 5:31
The teacher admitted to kicking your child. Yes, yes. Okay. So can you tell our audience what happened? Give us the main details of the story.

Unknown Speaker 5:46
My daughter comes home and on the first day, she's just acting a little off I check in with her do my, my duty I just got her off the bus. I'm seeing her first reaction to coming home and I'm noticing already Something's off. I'm asking her what's going on. She expresses to me that there were comments made about her hair. There were comments made about her hygiene. So I, I scheduled an appointment, a parent teacher conference with the teacher, and the next day when she came home. Weird again, off again. She didn't want to talk to me this time. She spoke to her dad, though, when he got home and expressed to her that the teacher had kicked another classmate and her

Zandra Polard 6:33
so you notice change in behavior. Two days in a row. Your child came home, not the same as she normally would have. Right? So that was your indicator. Yep. Okay, so What questions did you then ask how

Unknown Speaker 6:49
a school was the first one? And then I went on to? Are you okay? Are you doing all right? She had this look on her face and it didn't take but maybe half a second. She got off the bus and probably with one foot still on the bus and me saying what's going on? Are you okay? She's telling me, I need to take a shower. I need to get my hair change. That was the first day that was immediate. She's telling me things that she does say when she's ready to take a shower. She's on top of it. I'm on top of it. But she was adamant she needed to do it now and outside of her schedule,

Zandra Polard 7:25
because you told me the teacher said what to her? Well,

Unknown Speaker 7:30
one of the teachers asked her if she takes showers at home or or expressed to her that she should take showers at home. There's a little bit of a miscommunication there but comments on her hygiene. And then the second teacher asked her I asked her what happened to your hair in a way that that hurt my daughter's feelings. According to her her account of what happened. She told me that the teacher asked what happened to your hair. She gave you

Zandra Polard 8:02
explain the What happened to your hair. So how was her hair previously? Well,

Unknown Speaker 8:07
my daughter has tight Afro curls, and she likes her little Afro puffs. And she had a twist in originally for picture day. Okay, some little barrettes in there. And then the twists and the beads that were attached to it were taken out.

Zandra Polard 8:24
Okay, so she was wearing her hair in a natural state. Right, she

Unknown Speaker 8:28
went from having a tight hairdo to a loose natural style. Okay, overnight. And the teacher asked,

Zandra Polard 8:37
well, we all know what this like after taking our braids out, you know, as African American women, you know, we wear our braids and one day and the next day, we may not have a man, right.

Unknown Speaker 8:47
And specifically for my daughter, it relates to her sensory issues. She has an issue keeping her hair in braids or keeping beads on because they'll clap together,

Zandra Polard 8:56
right? Because you were saying because she's on the autism spectrum that that sound from the beats was disturbing for her. Yeah, it was irritating. Okay.

Unknown Speaker 9:05
She was desperate to have her hair done in a style for picture day. She got it done. She sat through it, wore it the whole day and then came home and wanted it out.

Zandra Polard 9:14
So I just want to understand I can Okay, I do understand the issue with the hair. Okay, as an African American woman, I do understand the issue with the hair. What I do not understand is the teacher admitting to kicking her and and when she admitted it, it was like she was telling me she was playing like a game a kicking game.

Unknown Speaker 9:41
Well, and and based on what my daughter had told me about the scenario. I was hoping that it was a game like maybe it was in PE or something like that. I I went with all the reasonable outlets first.

Zandra Polard 9:53
Like maybe it could have been a duck duck goose game. Maybe

Unknown Speaker 9:57
she tripped, right? I didn't know at first too. And so I called up but once my daughter said that another child had been kicked as well. And I asked her was this playing was this mean was this happy, I was trying to figure out words that she knew to express what she she was saying had happened. Once I found out that we were dealing with something that might be a scenario where the teacher could deny it, I scheduled with the principal, when we got there, the the teacher sat across from us and did not say it was part of PE did not say it was part of an actual group

Zandra Polard 10:32
did she's saying that it's something

Unknown Speaker 10:35
that she does with the other student regularly, it's part of a game, they regularly play that he's 100%. All boy, and that that's just how he plays. That's how they play. She stated that she knew she shouldn't play it with my daughter, but that my daughter was adamant she wanted to join in. And it was actually from that teacher's admission of what happened that I learned that it hurt my daughter. She had never stated that she said out or that it hurt. It was it was the teacher sitting across from me saying, but she said it came off the ground and onto my child.

Zandra Polard 11:13
Right. So I Okay, and

Unknown Speaker 11:17
not accidentally, but with intent

Zandra Polard 11:22
that she expressed. So what was the outcome for this teacher? Well, was there a write up? I mean, what happened? Well,

Unknown Speaker 11:31
as of right now, I don't know. I asked in that meeting. The principal and and my other family members that were there, asked the principal to make sure that there was a report written or that the proper channels were notified. So then if another parent came up three years later and said that this happened, they wouldn't be sitting there alone, just their word against hers that my daughter's account would be would be heard as well. And then they told us that we needed to get her into school as soon as possible.

Zandra Polard 12:04
So they just wanted her right back in school. Was there an apology given? Not that, you know, it should stop there. But did she get an apology?

Unknown Speaker 12:13
That teacher did not apologize. The tea, she should have

Zandra Polard 12:17
understood that this was a kicking game that she plays with her students. And it should have been acceptable is that it?

Unknown Speaker 12:25
Will she said that the other little boy runs up and will poke her so she pokes him and then he'll kick her. So she kicks him and she gave a different location than where my daughter did as to where she was kicking. My daughter said it was one part of her body and the teacher said a different part. But that was the only the only area where their stories didn't line up.

Zandra Polard 12:47
I remember you telling me when you first told me about the story, you said something about the teacher telling your child Don't tell lies to Mommy,

Unknown Speaker 12:57
don't go home and tell stories to me is what she said. And again, a symptom of of what my daughter deals with in her autism diagnosis is that she takes things literal. So when the teacher said don't go home and tell stories to Mommy, she didn't. She waited until dad got home. And she told him the story. And that's how it got out. And I was clear when when my daughter said that her teachers told her don't go home and tell stories don't tell stories to mommy. I asked her well, your stories true. Are they not true? She told me they were true. So I went into that school into that meeting, with the principal, hoping that my daughter just misunderstood, but I knew she wasn't telling something other than the truth.

Zandra Polard 13:48
Wow. So again, this is about how to protect youth in school. Now they do normally have a child psychologist, present at the school. However, if you were to ask me their name, I couldn't tell you. Do you know your child's school psychologist? Maybe you should find out. So today, I'm glad we have Dr. Green here today to help unravel some of this stuff like what do we do as parents? What is the correct process when your child has a complaint?

Unknown Speaker 14:29
Well, first off, I want to start by saying you know, good job to Jessica for being a mom that interacts with her child, especially a child that's on the spectrum. I'm just appalled to hear that educator thought that it was a good idea to play a kicking game with any child that's struggling with a neurocognitive delay. Normally in the school district. In the autism classes. They'll have a typical peer or multiple typical peer was placed in that class that are in there to demonstrate appropriate behaviors. And we know that one of the behaviors that, you know, we want to diminish or keep low is the assault of types of behaviors. And to play a game with a child, where you're kicking them and allowing them to kick you back, just encourages that type of behavior that you really want to extinguish. Right? So I'm just appalled that there was an educator that admitted to playing such a game with such a fragile population. After that, you know, I think that it's really good that you talk to your child. And that's important, right? So sometimes as parents, you know, the day just gets away from us, and we'll get home and and, you know, we'll ask our kids, well, how was your day and they're trying to explain, and then we're off to get dinner ready, or to get the laundry done, or whatever else we have to do when we get home. So you know, it's important for us as parents to make sure that we're giving our children that time to share their day with us, even if they don't share it with us, that first prompt, when we ask how was your day, you know, we always want to make sure that we're going back and encouraging that dialogue, because maybe they don't remember what happened in that moment, or, you know, they're still kind of trying to process their emotions from what happened during the day, before they share that with us. Now, definitely, if your child shares with you, something that happened through their day, that's completely inappropriate, either they're being bullied or, or the teacher, they feel like the teacher is bullying them or treating them unfairly. You know, as parents, we're the gatekeepers. So we have to go in, we have to follow up, we have to make the phone calls to the appropriate parties to start that investigation, right. Because there's always two sides to every story. And you know, sometimes I feel that in certain situations, you know, the, they'll try and paint the picture to you in a certain way, but your child experienced it very differently. And so even if the teacher is saying, Well, you know, we were just playing a game, and it was fun, and I knew I shouldn't have played it with her, your daughter experienced it as an assault of episode where she was injured by somebody that she trusted by someone that, you know, she looked forward to going to school to, to be with every day as part of her routine. So, you know, that's disturbing. That's, that's very disturbing, because then you start to diminish the trust in the child in going into certain social situations, and interacting with other people. So, you know, you did a good job, I think, asking for that meeting, and, you know, wanting to get in front of the appropriate administrators to start that dialogue and find out exactly what was going on in the classroom. You know, beyond that, my next question would have been like, so how's this going to be reported? Right, because that's an assault, you know, and your daughter experienced it as an assault. So, but

Zandra Polard 18:08
what I'm thinking is in the school system, I feel like, it's kind of like the police, you know, like, they have each other's backs, you know, like they are looking out for each other, but they're really supposed to be looking out for the best interest of your child. The direct quote from

Unknown Speaker 18:24
that meeting that my mother continues to be haunted by is the principal's first words to us, which were we trust, insert teacher's name, implicitly.

Zandra Polard 18:38
So the principal said that she trusts the teacher implicitly, implicitly was the word. Okay. So Dr. Greene, it is so very important that we talk with our children every day, even if it's just a How did school go, try to get some descriptors out of them, try to get more information. Because, as you said, your child is your child's experience can be different from the educators. Right? So with that being said, having dialogue with our children when they come home from school as we're probably making a meal, doing laundry, doing it at the same time, because we as women, or stay at home parents, male or female, are multitasking. Right? So so when we find out these egregious behaviors by the educators and we know, well, first thing I need to do was set up a meeting. Right? And I've found from having, you know, my family is best to have everyone involved, is best to have the teacher there. The principal there, or whomever is a part of the situation, and both parents If they can be, so I think it just nipped a lot of, you know, little things in the bud. And you can get straight to the situation and get it handled. Is there anything you want to help us understand Dr. Greene, about psychologists being in the school because like I said, I actually met one. I knew of one. But I've not heard of anyone else. And I know it's up to me to find out that information. But a lot of parents don't even know that they exist in the school.

Unknown Speaker 20:44
Correct. And so I'm not 100%, you know, familiar with the process with the school district. But what I do know is that they do attempt to provide that psychological support. Now, generally, with the psychologist within the school district, they're there to do more of the assessment type of activities with regard to, you know, assessing educational needs, sometimes psychosocial needs, but not necessarily in there to provide any type of crisis intervention or clinical interventions, okay. But the school district has done a pretty decent job about having clinical social workers available that go between schools to provide that type of support for youth that you know, are at the school. So again, it becomes one of those things where kind of us as parents sometimes have to do the digging to find out who these resources are, you know, at the beginning of the school year, generally schools will have like an open house activity or event, that's a good time to get to know what supports are available for your kid should they encounter a situation where, you know, they need to talk to someone, they want to speak to a counselor, but not necessarily about their academics, right, because most times, the counselors are there for academics, especially as we get higher into the grade levels, your middle school and your high school levels of education. But, you know, just getting to know what kind of resources are available, and who you can go to if you have specific concerns about your child's educational process, or the treatment that they're receiving in the classroom, or just their social interactions with other kids that are in the school with them. So

Zandra Polard 22:36
I want to thank both of you, ladies for being on the show today. Jessica, you gave us a powerful personal testimony of an event that happened with your child. And I wish you the best as you continue to deal with this situation, because it's not over. It's not over. And I want to thank you Dr. Greene, for being here, although you do not work in the school. Dr. Green, I'm familiar with because she was at our women empowerment conference last month. And she just really stood out to me as a phenomenal, well spoken, extremely knowledgeable person that I wanted to get to know, on a deeper level, so that she can help more people. So I wanted to invite Dr. Greene on the show, to help our community and to be able to provide a resource for people out there and she is available.

Unknown Speaker 23:41
So I my agency provides clinical care for our community. So I treat children, adolescents and adults. In Jessica's case, I would highly recommend that she gets her daughter into some type of individual psychotherapy, so that her daughter can better process the events of that situation so that it doesn't cause any trauma or cause any continued trauma.

Zandra Polard 24:12
Do you think that it's important for the parent to get therapy as well? Because I know if I went through something like that, I'd have trust issues as well with like leaving my child, you know, at another school or daycare or whatever. Yes,

Unknown Speaker 24:27
absolutely. So of course being in the field of mental health. I'm a mental health advocate. So it doesn't hurt to go in and talk to a clinician and work through, you know, whatever you have traumas if you're just trying to work through how to goal set and move forward with things that you want to achieve in life. You want to make your family better. Absolutely, absolutely. Because I know as parents you know, we internalize the hurt sometimes when our children are wronged or you know something happens to our kids and we immediately feel like Oh my god, how did I let that happen to my child, I'm responsible for that. So definitely I highly recommend that also parents, Jessica, get into psychotherapy, work through some of those issues, work through those concerns, improve your level of functioning, and, you know, take on the world.

Zandra Polard 25:18
And if you don't have a therapist and you're in need of one, please go to my website. It's where I am.com There are a list of resources there. We want to make sure that you have resources available at your fingertips to get the help that you need. So with that being said, I want to thank all my 91.5 Jazz and more listeners, for tuning in today. Protect our youth. It's where I am.com We'll see you next month, second Saturday of the month at 8:30am. Make sure you tune in this May 29 at 7:30am for our new spin off show where over here, my co host is Nikita Smith, and we'll see you Sunday. Thank you. Thank you for tuning in. See you next month. Bye

Transcribed by https://otter.ai